It might be because of my upbeat personality or because I’m a Coach, but some people act surprised when I describe my off days.
I wouldn’t be able to tell you the amount of times that I’ve woken up wondering what the hell I’m doing. Nor could I tell you the number of times when self-doubt kicked in, or when I’ve let this little voice take over and decide that I can just as well just switch on Netflix or social media to hide for a while.
Personally I think that everyone has these types of days and I’m still to meet the super human who can honestly say that they have completely defeated their inner critic or the voice that we coaches would call our ‘saboteur’.
One thing that I can tell you is that this critical voice that causes the ‘I can’t’, ‘I should’, the ‘I’m not good enough’, the ‘I don’t have the money’ and so on… this voice does not define you.
But what can we do to stop this broken record of negativity? How do we shift from an off - day to an on- day? Yes, let’s change the tune.
Changing the tune is sometimes easier said than done, but there is a choice we can make: to spiral down or to build the muscle to get back up.
So, let’s first start with something very basic…a human need that we can’t live without:
1. Take a breath
Breathe In…1 2 3… breathe out… 1 2 3 4… When anxious, uncertain, stressed or in a grey cloud, pay attention to your breathing. It might sound very simple, but in this moment there is a big chance that you’ve been holding your breath without you realising it.
Taking conscious breaths is a real necessity in the right here and now. So let’s wake up your body & mind by taking in some oxygen.
We sometimes are afraid to stand still with our own thoughts but funny enough we don’t have any issues standing still with the thoughts of others. Our saboteur can take on different tones, creating a crossover of thoughts or opinions about yourself and the world or the opinions of another.
Instead of taking your saboteur’s voice as a truth, simply notice the fact that it’s there. Be curious about what set it in action and what is it stopping you from doing?
Don’t even bother beating yourself up when having these thoughts, as that would only make it worse. Reflect and wonder if this thought is really true and if you really have to believe it. More importantly, think of who can you be without the I can’ts and the I shoulds?
While breathing and reflecting it’s now time to connect. On our off days, when believing our inner critic, there is however always this tiny voice in the background waiting to be heard.
If you listen very carefully, there is this voice that knows ‘the why’ behind all of this. I’m not talking about the dramatic, the desperately seeking an explanation type of ‘WHY OH WHYYY?’
I’m talking about the voice that knows the deeper meaning, the purpose of what made you decide to go into a specific direction. The voice that connects you to your gut and that when thinking of ‘the why’ creates that spark within you. It’s that calm voice that whispers ‘you can do this’, ‘trust yourself’, ‘let’s create’. When connecting with this voice, turn up the volume, give it a platform and hand it a megaphone.
So BRC: Breathe, Reflect & Connect. Nice and short and definitely something that you can put on a post -it note as a reminder for when you are slowly slipping into one of those days.
We might not always be able to change the tune instantly, but as practice makes perfect you can just start by breathing and by being conscious about the thoughts that you decide to believe.
If you get stuck at the R or the C and are getting tired of hearing the same tune then don’t hesitate to reach out to me for a free sample session and we’ll start with building up this muscle.
This said if you are reading this and you’re one of these super humans who already have completely defeated their saboteur, then please do contact me ASAP as we need to talk!
Thank you for reading.