Posts tagged career coaching
One of those days

It might be because of my upbeat personality or because I’m a Coach, but some people act surprised when I describe my off days.

I wouldn’t be able to tell you the amount of times that I’ve woken up wondering what the hell I’m doing.  Nor could I tell you the number of times when self-doubt kicked  in, or when I’ve let this little voice take over and decide that I can just as well just switch on Netflix or social media to hide for a while.

Personally I think that everyone has these types of days and I’m still to meet the super human who can honestly say that they have completely defeated their inner critic or the voice that we coaches would call our ‘saboteur’.

One thing that I can tell you is that this critical voice that causes the ‘I can’t’, ‘I should’, the ‘I’m not good enough’, the ‘I don’t have the money’ and so on… this voice does not define you.

But what can we do to stop this broken record of negativity? How do we shift from an off - day to an on- day? Yes, let’s change the tune.

Changing the tune is sometimes easier said than done, but there is a choice we can make: to spiral down or to build the muscle to get back up.

So, let’s first start with something very basic…a human need that we can’t live without:

1. Take a breath

Breathe In…1 2 3… breathe out… 1 2 3 4…  When anxious, uncertain, stressed or in a grey cloud, pay attention to your breathing. It might sound very simple, but in this moment there is a big chance that you’ve been holding your breath without you realising it.

Taking conscious breaths is a real necessity in the right here and now. So let’s wake up your body & mind by taking in some oxygen.

2. Reflect

We sometimes are afraid to stand still with our own thoughts but funny enough we don’t have any issues standing still with the thoughts of others. Our saboteur can take on different tones, creating a crossover of thoughts or opinions about yourself and the world or the opinions of another.

Instead of taking your saboteur’s voice as a truth, simply notice the fact that it’s there. Be curious about what set it in action and what is it stopping you from doing? 

Don’t even bother beating yourself up when having these thoughts, as that would only make it worse. Reflect and wonder if this thought is really true and if you really have to believe it.  More importantly, think of who can you be without the I can’ts and the I shoulds?

3. Connect

While breathing and reflecting it’s now time to connect. On our off days, when believing our inner critic, there is however always this tiny voice in the background waiting to be heard.

If you listen very carefully, there is this voice that knows ‘the why’ behind all of this.  I’m not talking about the dramatic, the desperately seeking an explanation type of ‘WHY OH WHYYY?’

 I’m talking about the voice that knows the deeper meaning, the purpose of what made you decide to go into a specific direction.  The voice that connects you to your gut and that when thinking of ‘the why’ creates that spark within you.  It’s that calm voice that whispers ‘you can do this’, ‘trust yourself’, ‘let’s create’.   When connecting with this voice, turn up the volume, give it a platform and hand it a megaphone.

So BRC:  Breathe, Reflect & Connect.  Nice and short and definitely something that you can put on a post -it note as a reminder for when you are slowly slipping into one of those days.

We might not always be able to change the tune instantly, but as practice makes perfect you can just start by breathing and by being conscious about the thoughts that you decide to believe.

If you get stuck at the R or the C and are getting tired of hearing the same tune then don’t hesitate to reach out to me for a free sample session and we’ll start with building up this muscle.

This said if you are reading this and you’re one of these super humans who already have completely defeated their saboteur, then please do contact me ASAP as we need to talk!

Thank you for reading.

Audrey

 

 

 

Winter sleep

I've loved my time working in the media industry both in the Netherlands as in the UK. The long hours didn’t matter as it was crazy fun and they had the best wrap parties.

I was working towards my dream in a fun environment, finding great (or simply silly) stories, learning new things and championing TV contestants. Working with talented people, from producers to contestants, was all I wanted to do.

A few years into my London adventure, in the midst of recession, I found myself having to choose between finding something stable in my life or crashing down. I was faced with personal family issues which caused a lot of sadness, within me and others around me. 

At this stage my dream wasn’t important anymore, but my sanity was. 

When my GP asked me if I wanted some medication I said no, but I asked to speak to someone instead. I knew this was the first step to not completely lose myself, so I went to see a lovely lady whose face I’ve forgotten because I was mostly crying when I came to see her (not that I feel guilty not remembering her, as crying felt so good I didn’t need to see a face)

To protect myself I felt I went into a ‘winter sleep’ putting everything on hold. I didn’t have the ability to focus or to keep up with the hustle and bustle of the TV industry, or to play nice (aka suck up) to everyone to join their production team.

As I wasn’t ready to move back to the Netherlands, the questions were: How was I going to afford to stay in this expensive town keeping my head up? What else could I do besides working in production? What other skills did I have? Who else could I be?

Looking at my experience, my studies and knowledge, the simple answer was – working with people in whatever way.

So here I was with a very basic answer trying to reinvent myself: Audrey Cairo - a People’s person, full stop. Let’s see how far I can get with that…

I had a lot of rejections in the months of me suffering internally, but where there was darkness there was a shimmer of light, as where can’t you not work with people?

To make this long story a bit shorter, this is how I came to work in media recruitment. Someone saw something in me and I was hired for my personality and ability to understand what their candidates might be going through, understanding their ideal path.

I didn’t treat my role as a recruitment role but as a casting job or dating agency, for both clients and candidates. I was curious about almost everyone I met, looking at their personality, how will one fit with the other, who are they, what would they love doing, who do they need within your team etc. It was about helping candidates and clients looking at their needs and not putting a number on someone’s head, but supporting them to where they want to go next.

Funny enough this all came natural, even when I partly was still in my ‘winter sleep’ finding calm and slowly starting to enjoy things around me. I was seeing the city in a different light, awakening and creating my new dreams.

I think it took me 2.5 years to properly get out of my winter sleep but when I woke up, I was Awake! Even though I have enjoyed helping hundreds of candidates on their way to their dreams, I personally wasn’t in the right job or following my own dream. Which made me unhappy in this new awakened state.

I realised that I wasn’t a recruiter by heart, this wasn’t my path. But who was I? 

And there we went again: I’m a people’s person…but I added: I love getting the best out of others, helping them find their confidence, talents and dreams. 

Instead of settling in the environment that I was in, a new path was created:            Audrey Cairo a professional ‘XXX’ Coach.

After 2 years of training, certifying and coaching alongside a full time job, I’ve taken the plunge. I quit my job following a whole new dream and adventure trying to help people not to get lost on their way and to shine a light on their path when dark or cloudy.

You might think, “Great she got there in the end! ”Ha! Wrong! This is only the beginning, as with new dreams come new challenges.

The reason why I mentioned Audrey Cairo a XXX Coach – is that besides a lot of people still being scared of the word ‘Life’ the ‘XXX’ still needs to be filled in a bigger sense. Some say it to be crucial in the coaching world to find a niche, but I’m not ready to add one.

Where I coach men, woman, in or out a creative industry or charities, people who are trying to find their goals through depression, or simply ambitious people set goals for their business, the important part is the connection between me and my coachees. 

My hope is that after me sharing a part of my story, that you feel at ease to contact me if you feel that you need to be listened to and need some help.  

So if you’re looking to make a change in life, career, business, wanting to build your confidence and so on – in the end a Coach is a Coach. Coaches are people’s people and we’re here to help you find your way and be your champion..

Thank you for reading.